A note to you

This is not just another blog post, this is a note to a special person. This is a letter to convey the unsaid words of gratitude. Gratitude for making me realize my strength and beauty. This is a note to tell you how special you are, a note to tell you how you have touched a life.

Just two days back I stumbled on a few lines, that got me thinking. The line that struck me was: "her wounds came from the same source as her power". This got me to thinking, of course, it is us, who else. It has always been us- us who love a lot or who think a lot or who talk a lot or feel a lot. It is a woman, who is capable of this. It is a woman gets shot down ten times and she gets back up 11 times.

This got me to look around, look around and realize all along I have been surrounded by some phenomenal women, who have been through hell and still laugh the loudest laughter, women who have been through worst of hardships and they carry those scars wrapped in a smile. I have seen women who have fallen and made mistakes and I have seen them stand back up, look life in the eye and say -"I'll make up for it, but I won't let it ruin me, not today!". 

This is a note to you. 

This is a note to you, who thinks a lot, and then some more, who can manage to raise a chaos out of a perfect situation. This is a note to you, who can manage to walk tall in the chaos, who has the strength to make it right. This is a note to the fierce, bold and beautiful you, who fights like fire, and loves like fire.

This is a note to you, who is a daughter and a son, a fighter and a provider. This is a note to you who gives a lot and asks for so little, who looses small matches, curses herself and gets back up every time because she is made to win at life. A note to you, who wears an armor and a smile.

This is a note to you, who has learned to occupy as little space in a room as possible, who carries a storm inside her and smiles the sweetest smile. This is a note to you, who has denied life's bitterness to take away her sweetness. A note to you, who is fire covered in ice. I admire your courage, your strength and your pride.

This is a note to you, who knows sky is her limit, who is talented and sharp, beautiful and gentle, and tied down by restrictions, who has the strength to break the chains and still chooses to wear them like ornaments because she knows her time will come. This is a note to you and a bow to your patience, and your strength and your wisdom.

This is a note to you, who was abused and mistreated, who laughs the craziest laughter. A note to you, who does the right thing, despite being wronged, who refuses to back down when life hits her the hardest. A note to my warrior princess.

This is a note to you, who is silly and confused and often perturbed, who looks for advice and a little bit of love, who has scars that no one sees and cries that no one hears, she owns them beautifully with a toothless smile that one should fear. This is a tribute to your bottomless, fathomless and unquestionable love.

This is a note to you, who stands tall in room full of men, they call you a wild card entry and you show them your strength. A note to you, who is the best employee, a mother and a friend.

This is a note to you, who is a true leader, who leads by example, who takes the blame and gives the credit, who stands in the way of all the bad and makes way for all the good, smiling all the way through. This is a note to your strength and the source of your power and the brilliant mother you are to your daughter.

This is a note to you, who loves beyond doubt, and hates beyond reason, who loves in the world that betrays. A note to you, who can walk the storm with her hair let loose, who refuses to let the life get the best of her. I am proud of the woman you have become. This is a celebration of your scars, your strength, and your love. And, finally this is a tribute to you who raised her. A note to you, who is a warrior, who is a true fighter, who simplifies, exemplifies and personifies womanhood. 

A note to you mother, I salute your sacrifices, your beauty, your strength, your mistakes, your love. 

A few words by Alison Malee:

Woman

You are not meant to be a temporary structure

You bring, you sustain, you nurture life.

You are the heart of many,

strength of lot.

You are permanent and irreplaceable landscape.

A lover, a friend, a sister, a mother,

A fighter, a scholar, a role model, a champion.

You are a victory and

a road-map of comforts

You are a home.

The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse, what words come to the mind when you first hear this word? What picture comes to mind when you first hear this word?

Well, I will share what comes to my mind. The first word that comes to my mind is light, and the picture that flashes before my eyes is of a pitch black foggy-chilly night, a violent sea with waves crashing against the rocks, and a ship stuck in the sea for months, the despair and fear of the people who have been stuck on that ship, these people might have faced many atrocities at the hand of the mighty sea, they might be dying of thirst and hunger, they see this faint light shinning through and reaching them like a guiding light. The rejoice! The peace that befalls on them! The happy tears! It is overwhelming isn't it?

Yes it is, and they keep going, looking at the light, blocking out pain, fear, cold and hunger, they keep moving towards the light.

Never until this moment I realized, how important it is to have hope. It is just a four letter word, but perhaps most powerful one of them all. Hope, everything really stems from it, the strength to fight, the will to live, the passion to improve, to keep going long after your body can work and mind can comprehend, to love beyond bounds, to fight, to live, to die in peace. This four letter word has immense strength, it can win lost battles, it brings back dead, it wins hearts, and it keeps you going long after you thought was possible. 

We all live in the hope of better future, in the hope of happier times, in the hope of being more successful, in the hope of finding the love we deserve, in the hope of making the life we deserve. Till their last breaths, people with hope put up a fight. It is a very strong emotion, perhaps the strongest one and also one of the most underrated ones. It keeps you going till your last breath, it stays with you till the end of the life.

We should keep this hope alive no matter what, because this is what keeps us alive. I understand it gets difficult to see the light on darkest of nights, but remember my friend, it is on the darkest of nights that the light shines the brightest, you just have to look out for it and once you find it, don't let it loose your sight. Trust the light and keep moving forward.

Hope is lost, the will to live is lost. Unfortunately we live in times where it has become even more important to understand the power of hope for ourselves and for others. We should always be on the lookout for the lighthouse as we walk through some of the toughest times in our lives.

Every one today could use a little hope, and everyone today could give out a little hope. So try to be someone's Lighthouse and spread out your beautiful light, who knows you might help some lost souls and give them hope to survive the storm and the crushing waves of lives.This was my attempt to be someone's lighthouse.

Sharing a few lines that I heard somewhere, which I would love to share with you.

"What draws the eye to the lighthouse,

 Oh say what could it be?

Now how could a light on the mighty rock

forgive lost souls at sea.

There are no ropes to pull them in,

no maps of where to go.

And we hear the cries from crashing waves 

under the beacon's glow.

Relentlessly, the wind blows now

the noise, as  million drums!

The angry sea will swallow scores

as the weak in faith succumb.

Through rain and hail and deathly fog

sins weather strangely mixed

A faint but "guiding light" shines through, 

if eyes are firmly fixed!"

Keep Shinning!

Cheers to your beautiful light!

Image source: google images.

A Cow, A Buffalo, A Skeleton

Hey, have you seen her, she looks so fat in that dress, doesn’t she realize that she does not have the body for that. Oh my god, she looks like an elephant, she should start working out. You can’t pull that off you don’t have the body for that. Real women have curves. Oh boy! You should have seen her, she looked like a cow/buffalo/ rhino/skeleton/fat/flat etcetera etcetera.

Rings a bell?  Remember the girl you called fat or flat or skinny or skeleton or cow or buffalo? Can you guess what the post is about? Body Shaming.

Body shaming, is a natural phenomenon that the worst of us have to go through, this is the critical test and unavoidable too, like jee, gmat, ias that you have to pass to have a good life, after all if you and your body is not approved by society, or even your friends, your family or your boyfriend/husband then what good are you (in their defense, it is your fault that you are fat/skinny/ugly)? You my dear are not beautiful, and no obviously you shouldn’t wear the dress you like because Mr. Body Shamers and Ms. Body Shamers have not approved of it, so how does it matter that you want to wear something you like, even though its your body but they make the rules here and if they have decided that they don’t like the way you look then of course you should spend your whole life trying to look like the way they seem fit because they are the best judge of your body/looks/colors and wardrobes.

Now don’t try to give me this counter point that god made you this way, so what? Is god bigger than Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers? No of course not. You must listen to what they say, because they are the most beautiful people ( and not just by looks, but inside out) to have walked this earth, they are the ones who own how you should feel, they decide when you are allowed to enjoy and be happy and not be teased and made fun of. And of course, they have every right to talk about how ugly you are, to tell you how bad you look, don’t feel bad they are doing you a favor, otherwise which beautiful person takes out time to address the flaws of ugly people like you, it is a social service that they have undertaken apart from the heavy burden (that they already carry on their perfectly proportionate and toned shoulders) of deciding the fate of every person and judging every person?

Now don’t go on saying that Joey said, “I am curvy, and I like it”, so if its good enough for Joey its good enough for you. Because, he also dated only “hot women” ( this is a term that in the language of body shamers is used for the women who are opposite of you, who are not ugly like you, they are beautiful women, you won’t get it.)

And don’t even try to say shit like “mah life, mah body, mah rulz” to me because you are ugly my friend and only pretty people have the right to use it, you use it, you become a meme, are you not made enough fun of already? You cow, you buffalo, you skeleton! When will you learn, stay in shadow, don’t you dare try to shine, and don’t even think of outsmarting Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers, you can never have their intelligence, beauty, charm and confidence.

So you have two choices, either work hard and make something of your life and create a different world for yourself where ugly people like you and me are valued and appreciated and where there is no place for what Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers think of you, or rot in the dungeons of your ugliness, self pity and insecurities because you are not welcomed in this world of beauty, of Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers for only the prettiest souls are allowed to live and thrive and only these pretty ones get to decide your fate here and they have passed their judgement and you were deemed “not pretty enough”.

See you on the other side!

The Expectation Theory

How many times have you heard or read somewhere, that it is wrong to expect anything from anyone? How many times have you consoled yourself by saying that you expected too much and that is why you are disappointed.  But is it really your fault that you expect from people? Is it wrong to believe that people are capable of love or trust or friendship? How is it your fault, that the other person didn't hold his/her end of the bargain.

In my opinion, "You shouldn't expect anything from anyone" is a concept created by those people who just need a lame excuse to extract everything out of other people around them and just walk away when it's their turn to do something. It is just another way of getting away after doing something selfish or insensitive.

But if you are a person like me, who has consoled himself/herself by saying it's your fault, you never learn that you should not expect. Stop right now, because why shouldn't you expect? There is a reason you expect, right? You are not a mad, desperate person who is just running around expecting people to cross oceans for you, you are a reasonable person and you expect because you did something for that person, you expect because that person promised you implicitly through his/her gestures and behaviors that he/she is going to be there for you and if this person was not there for you and you are blaming yourself, don't! Because it is not your fault, it never was.

But do learn one thing, learn whom to expect from, choose your people wisely. Choose who you are willing to place your trust in, choose who is worthy of your love and friendship and your efforts. You should be the one deciding to what extent you should be pushing yourselves for lovers, friends, family. Because end of the day it's you who'll be disappointed if you don't make the right choice, if you don't make a wise choice or if you decide in haste. Take all the time you need but choose wisely and if even after such careful contemplation, people do end up disappointing you which they will (because how can it be that simple) don't ever blame yourself, it was never your fault, how can it be your fault if all you ever did was to be there for people you love and expect the same from them. And let me tell you this, the conversion rate on expectations is very low i.e if you place your trust in 10 people and expect from them to show up and if you are lucky then you are going to be disappointed by only 9 of them, but once in a while one out of every ten people will reciprocate your expectations, they'll appreciate your beautiful heart and that'll make all the difference, because this bargain is more than worth it and this how amazing people like you find amazing people like me(don't deny that now). Also, learn from your mistakes, don't keep on giving third and fourth chances and if you do want to give out those chances give those to yourself by telling yourself you deserve not to be disappointed, you deserve better. Also, do you remember that bitch named Karma, well it does exist and it's pretty good at it's job so leave all the rest to it and you do your thing.

Happy Expectations!

Just one Act : that's all it takes

It takes just one act of love, of kindness, of courage, of gratitude or of acceptance. Yes just one act, and it makes all the difference.

This post comes straight from my heart, which was in utter chaos. A month full of broken promises and friendships. A month of full of difficult decisions made, a month full of turmoil and emotional roller-coaster, and a week full of second guessing all the decisions made, full of tears and a viral infection. Well, this will sound overly melodramatic, but I can't help it, I have thing for romanticizing pain as I have grown up on bollywood movies and I love Arijit Singh's songs, so bear with me.

But something happened today, which made me realize that at times, all it takes is one act. One act to save someones day, to save relationships from turning sour, to save someones life, to bring a smile to a teary faced, to bring peace to a troubled heart.

What we often fail to realize is that we are given this power, power to affect people, it depends on us how we use it. We have the ability to make someone's day just by simple act of care or love. We can make our loved ones feel that they are not alone by just taking out sometime from our lives for them.

We are bound by our calendars and our fast paced lives, but it won't hurt to stop and show your love to those who matter because after all this is what counts.

So many times I think of picking up a phone and calling some of my old friends, or my grandparents and I don't because well I get distracted by something. So many times I think of checking in on a person I think might be lonely and then I just shy away thinking it's not my place. So many times I try to reach out to someone I see is in pain but I don't because that person was not there in my time of need (petty I know, but that's me). So many times I thought of reaching out to an old friend who has become a stranger now. So many times I think of reaching out to a stranger who I see sitting lonely at her desk in office every day, and I don't neither do you probably.

But today, I realized how powerful just one act could be. So, I have decided that instead of not bothering or instead of bothering and not doing anything, I'll make a change. Let's try this, let's give love, a big bear hug, a warm smile, morning greetings of how are you to co-workers while you actually listen intently to how they are, hour long phone calls to old friends, a loud and honest laughter, open doors and even more wide open hearts. Because if not us then who else would? We are all so lonely or insecure or carry a baggage, all of us could use a good old big warm love. Sure, there are people who wronged you, sure there are people who you believe are downright evil and may be they are, but how can you decide someone else's karma? At least you can be good to the other half who you tend to ignore or forget about or take for granted, life is too short you know, and I said because us humans like other things tend to procrastinate showing love and care also, thinking we have lifetime ahead of us to show the love that we feel towards someone.

Let's start with a simple act, a simple act to show someone that they mean something to us, a simple act to show someone that they are not alone, a simple act to show that our love, that is all that makes a difference.

This post is my love to the person who said to me once - "I might not be able to give you a solution to your problems, because it's me you know I can't, but I sure can listen to you and when you cry I can cry with you" - cliched isn't it? Well hindi movies you see, but this is the moment I knew I love this person, because these things, these simple acts are all that brings people closer, because in these moments what we experience is shared pain and shared joy and love that stems from that and it is this love that binds two people together.

Happy Loving, Happy living.

Millennial Dilemma

Generation Y, that's us. We are the most privileged generation, because we do not know wars or epidemics beyond movies. We did not have to fight for sitting at the same table as others. We have been privileged, at least in my opinion we are. We got to live in comfortable homes, with sufficient food, and clothes on our bodies. We didn't have to fight for the basic amenities. Some of us even got quality education or an IQ or big money for donations and hence the college degrees as well. Earning well, living well, partying well, travelling, shopping. A life for which we studied, we pushed hard for this, our previous generations pushed hard for this. We are a generation of entrepreneurs. We are the generation of work hard and party harder. We have our "cool" lives and "cooler" vices. 

But we are also a generation of stressed, sad, insecure and downright depressed people. Surprising in't it? Yet not so surprising, you might be one of the very few lucky ones or one of the very few of Generation Y who have cracked the code of happiness and balance in that case stop reading this blog and start writing your own so that people like us could learn from that, as for the rest of you miserable folks who sail in the same boat as me, keep on reading.

Everywhere I look around me, every person I see or talk to is sad/depressed about something (example: breakups( all time winner on the causes of sadness list), jobs/career, family, not travelling enough). Well I am not going to list all the causes you've been there you get it. If someone is not sad then that person is simply so insecure to be himself/herself because he/she is just terrified of failing and more than failing being mocked, of not being cool enough to fit in. And then there are are people who say I am not sad but I am not happy either, I just don't know, I don't feel motivated or I feel lonely or something like that.

We are a generation of people who need to pretend to be having an amazing life while being all fucked up because its not cool to be vulnerable. Its not cool to have problems, its not cool to have emotions. And especially when you see everyone around you having an amazing time with insta-perfect pictures and captions overflowing with declarations of love and happiness and friendship and you are sitting there sulking and thinking and cursing yourself that somehow it is your fault, all that is wrong is your fault because you are somehow inadequate and that is why your life is fucked up. And so you bottle it all inside, slap on your brightest smile, and you are ready, for a insta-perfect picture, with a great caption and everything.

Somewhere in this rat-race of privileged life and for privileged life we were subconsciously/consciously trained to run so fast as to leave all this vulnerability and emotions behind because  there is no place for vulnerability or weakness (yeah I just used them as synonyms, isn't that correct?) in this world, because you'll be eaten alive if you don't man up. But you know, what was the goal we were running for? Some of us are lucky enough to know the goal, some of us have not yet realized it, but as per my knowledge the goal is a happy and comfortable life. Well let me ask you this - what do you have right now? How will the future be any better than it is now. You do have all the ingredients right now, what makes you think that if you are not competent enough or worthy enough or whatever reason you give yourself to not be happy and satisfied or comfortable with your life, you will be in future? 

Don't get me wrong, I am not against achieving more or wanting to achieve more, I am all for it. I am against the idea that we carry around that somehow if we get our dream job, or if we achieve our target weight, if we get into a relationship, or if we get a better group of friends or whatever that we'll be happier. Happiness is not absence of need/want for better life, happiness is acceptance. Accepting of what you have. Happiness is also gratitude for what you have and what you don't have. Happiness is knowing that you lost something that you shouldn't have and being OK with it, because you also got something that you shouldn't have. It is in your own hands, nothing and no one can make you feel good about you and your life till you are not OK with it or better yet thankful for it.

Well, I hope this post helps anyone who reads it, if it doesn't I don't care ( don't get me wrong, I need to be cool about it).

Happy Living!

Life on a Detox Mode : Why is it important to filter some people out of your life

This post might come across as narcissistic but through some of my personal experiences and experiments I have learn that it is important at times to just filter some people out of your life. 

Why? Simply, because you don't feel good around them or about them. I used to be a person and in some terms still am a person who has been fortunate enough to have been surrounded by a lot of people and to admit the obvious I do love having a lot of people to "chill" with. But this past one year I realized that I just don't feel good about/ around some people, don't get me wrong, these are amazing people that's why I got inclined towards them in the first place but at times you just realize that your frequencies do not match or you are not compatible with some people or not comfortable with their ideas of fun and friendship or at times just the sheer expectations or there behavior or whatever. This got me thinking that why am I still around those people who make me feel not so good? Why do I keep giving myself reasons for there behavior or actions that I was not OK with?

Well to certain extent the reason was fear. Fear of losing out and remaining with no one around me. This fear is what led me to say yes to every invitation I got, doesn't matter if I wanted to go or not. This fear led me to stick around people even when it became difficult to manage my life and expectations around it. This fear led me to stick around with people who constantly disappointed me and I got angrier and frustrated as the time passed because I felt trapped. Trapped, because I didn't like some of the people in my life but I felt like I had no choice but to suck it up and smile. I realized that the admiration and love I had for these people was long gone and has turned into anger and frustration and as a result I used to be persistently sad because of no specific reasons at all.

And then one fine day, I got courage to do what I have been thinking and hoping of doing for long. I started detoxifying my life. I realized that I couldn't be in any worse condition than I already was in. Being persistently sad, and having a room full of people or being happy and sitting by myself which would I prefer? I chose the later. 

So I started, started with people closest to me who affected me the most and were source of major negativity in my life. I do admit it took all the courage I had to end friendships which were formed over years and relationships which I so prized. I was sad for a long time because no matter how bad these people used to make me feel, I realized that I did love them after all. I questioned my decision as well, thought I have done a major blunder. But just some sort of inertia stopped me from running back to all those people and apologizing and slowly I started seeing the difference in myself.

From a person who used to laugh to show that she's happy, I became a person who laughed an honest laugh which came straight from the heart . I was smiling after a long time, a genuine smile which was not to show a strong and happy front but I was actually smiling! I can not express how it felt like when I was sitting at my desk in office, doing my work and had a smile on my face and suddenly I realized that I am smiling and I am not sad anymore. I was smiling after a very long time, I was not sad after a very long time. From a person who used to fear being alone and hence felt the need to constantly make plans and host a lot of people to just be liked and not be alone, I became a person who was comfortable with being alone and actually now a person who looks forward to her "me-time". I don't have the before-after pictures of my heart and mind to show you the transformation, so you'll probably have to take my word for it when I say that I was a sad person before with a lot of friends and companions and I am happier and more secure person today with lesser friends. 

Also, another thing I realized is that these people who I started detoxifying would not have stayed for long anyway. 

And I admit I am not truly there yet, I still have a fear of missing out on things, I still get rattled when I think what if one day I am left alone, what if I have no one to go out on trips or outings with. What if I have no one to talk to when I am sad/happy. But then I think of the time when I did hit my rock bottom and I actually had no one around. And it's very true when they say that people can laugh with you, walk with you but they won't fall with you. So you my friend, you should just learn to walk away from all the drama, all those people who don't treat you right, all those who can not reciprocate your love and compassion or who just simply disappoint you. Life is too short to keep on giving third and fourth chances to people. Give yourself those chances and do something with the life that you've got.  Do remember not every one can understand you and appreciate you. And not every one is going to treat you well and that is their problem until you let yourself be affected by it and then it is your problem so you either figure out a way to be at peace with them or you just filter them out, and this in no sense means that they are bad people, they are just very different from you.

If you are someone who is in similar situation, all the luck and strength to you. I hope this small heart felt post helps. It's difficult but we'll be there. :)

Happy living!

Bullies, why they do it, how to handle them ?

Ever been bullied? Let me rephrase ever been targeted by someone that made you feel worthless? I think there will be 2% people who will have negative response for this.

So, first how to react to these bullies? Well first response is to give it back to them but this is not something that I'd suggest. Because you need not stoop down to there level and you are way above them. Why did I say you are way above them? Because that my friend is the truth and I am not saying this to make you feel good. Tell me what do you feel when you see a grown man/woman throwing stones at an innocent animal you just think of that person as pathetic moron who needs to feed of those, whom he feels are weaker than him. What do you feel when you see a person dissing about a great personality, you'll probably laugh, because it isn't this persons place to be able to see eye to eye with the person he is dissing about.

See you need to understand this, these people who bully you, they need to do this to feel meaningful. Because they feel inadequate about themselves. It is their inferiority complex that they are trying to cope with, by this bullying. And why you? Because you make them feel inadequate. These are generally the people who know they don't have it in them to reach where you can, so they try to play you down. Just so that they don't feel emasculated.

So, smile my friend and pity such fools, because they fear your intensity, or beauty or intelligence or your personality or whatever. Just pity those people, smile ignore and move on. This should serve as a fuel, as a motivator to achieve what you want.

Someone once said, when people try to pull you down that means you are on the right path. And there is place for only one at the top. So my friend, keep fighting, keep being the amazing you.

Remember, whoever is trying to pull you down, is already below you.

Also, please do keep in mind, if it is going out of hand and is affecting you still, you stand up to this moron. And you can always report this person to Anti Bullying Bureau or near by authorities, this is not something you have to take.

You are not alone, you just need to extend a hand for help, to help.

Be The Awesome You!

Happy Living :) 

Sophie's choice : LOVE or COMPATIBILITY

This 14th February, everywhere I looked I saw happy faces so much in love, long declarations of love, Ed Sheeran's Perfect playing in cafes and lovey dovey captions. Pardon my cynicism if you can, if you can't well this isn't a post for the weak-hearted anyway.

It's not just sitting on the outskirts and commenting on people who try to do something which I am pouring here in this post. This post is a result of personal experiences I have had as a friend, as a girlfriend and as a shoulder to my dearest friends grieving over failed relationships and broken hearts.

This got me thinking how do some couples have it all figured out and some just can't face the test of time.

Does the guy buy more flowers and chocolates, is he more understanding and caring or the girl is more sensible and gives him space or cooks perfect meal? Because I have seen it, I have seen two perfect people, two amazing people not being able to make a relationship work. What is the magic ingredient? Well, according to me it is COMPATIBILITY.

Yep, that's a big word but it's just that much easier when you have compatibility because everything just fits like two pieces of puzzle who belong to each other. People might argue that love is beautiful and it is so powerful it can change people and blah I know all those arguments, I have used those arguments myself at one point of time but the truth is: I realized that if you need the power of love to change someone then answer me this do you really love that person ? Or you just see the potential and you want to be with the modified version of that person because that suits your requirements? Where is love in changing the person you love?

And let's face it guys, love can ignite a fire in you, it can light up a passion in you but for how long and till when? When the curtains are down and the lights are out, you need someone in your life who just gets you without having to explain your every action and every reaction. No! The other person can not have magical abilities, it is cruel of you to expect the other person to just understand you when you have such opposite personalities. When you have different ways of expressing love, anger, happiness, hatred. When your meaning of caring for someone is different, when your idea of entertainment is different, when your idea of good evening is different. When your dreams are different. When your idea of home and happiness is different. How do you expect both of you to be happy with the same things? 

I feel, it's better to be with someone who you are compatible with than to be with the one you love and are not compatible with. Because love can stem from compatibility because you will be able to share moments of sheer joy and mutual happiness but love can not give birth to compatibility because you will be modifying the other person for your selfish motive and that is not the person you fell in love with. 

If you are someone who is facing this tough choice, I wish you all the luck(if you choose COMPATIBILITY, so that you are lucky enough to find your puzzle piece) and strength(if you choose LOVE, to be able to sustain and help each other to be more compatible).

Happy Living, Happy Loving !

Everything that is wrong with modern day love

This post is a result of the numerous emotions I went through in past year and the incessant efforts of my brain to understand how I went from sad to happy in a blink and finally being able to put in words some of those thoughts and emotions which I was not able to describe that well in words before.

Well here it goes, first of all when I look back now, I can say that it was not in blink of an eye that I went from sad to happy. It was a process spanning over an entire year. A process of healing, a process of self discovery and being happy with whatever good or bad I discovered about myself. It was a process of being able to genuinely love and adore myself instead of being ashamed or feeling inadequate. Because that is what is wrong with love days. Don't get me wrong, love in itself is a very beautiful feeling but the way we approach love and our outlook towards it, is what the problem is.

Love has become a way for people to validate themselves with, but what I understood is, it is not a magic potion that is supposed to make your past or your flaws or your insecurities go away or somehow make them OK. Love is not something you can use to make yourself feel beautiful or valued or less lonely. But we give ourselves this reason or at least I did that if I have a partner in my life than all other things which I feel I need to work upon are OK and do not require my attention because I got a validation or some sort of acceptance and that is why probably people at times feel like they are not good enough if they don't have someone in their lives because of this general idea that we have built around love. 

We view love and romantic relationships as a form of escape route or as I say buffer to give ourselves a reason not to work on the things which we know deep down will give us the happiness or a illusion that we build around ourselves to keep us from facing the reality or as something with which we can keep our mind occupied so that we don't have to face the real issues in life, hence we are never at peace in our relationships and tend to attract chaos. Because what we feel is what we give out to the world and what we give out is reflected back.

It's time we start approaching love in a correct way and not in the way that we have been taught by all the romantic movies/novels/stories/songs. It's unnecessarily romanticized, it's over hyped, it's not real and it's unhealthy. Love is not a co-dependent relationship, love is, two independent individuals who are capable of co-existing.

Please understand, and I can not stress this enough that, if you want to be happy whether in relationship or not, you'll absolutely have to learn to be able to love yourself and appreciate yourself with all your heart and not just superficially, but actually mean it. And it's tough to come face to face to your true self because there are a lot of things that you don't want to see or acknowledge but you don't have a choice because sooner or later you'll have to go on this journey of self discovery and though tough in beginning, it tends to become easier and more peaceful after sometime and it's beautiful. I am sorry, I can not tell you what the end result is or how it looks like because I am still not there yet, but till now all I can say is I am a happier person and more importantly closer to my true self than I ever was.

“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are, The second greatest is being happy with what you find.” ― Auliq Ice

Bon Voyage!

Solved : Murgi pehle aayi ya anda

Hi Folks

Wishing you all a very happy new year. 2018 for you guys might have started with new resolutions, parties etc. For me it was a bit different. For me 2018 started on a high note, finally finding an answer to the question - Murgi pehle aayi ya Anda, and stumbling upon a good enough explanation, all thanks to my friends, as you can very well imagine by now- no, we had nothing better to do/discuss on new year's eve than this. 

Anyway, the answer is (drumroll please) - Anda. And here comes the explanation before you start forming counter points in your heads.

The explanation - the egg came first, simply because it's always the simpler form which results/transforms or is origin of the more complex form. Simpler form here being the egg. Years of evolution might have resulted into the Murgi we see today but it's definitely difficult to imagine for me that a complex organism like a Murgi came into being first and then came the egg. 

So based on this, for now I have made my peace with the answer being Anda. If you can't see me happy and wish to disturb my peace please feel free to drop in counter points. Till then..

Happy thinking!