A note to you

This is not just another blog post, this is a note to a special person. This is a letter to convey the unsaid words of gratitude. Gratitude for making me realize my strength and beauty. This is a note to tell you how special you are, a note to tell you how you have touched a life.

Just two days back I stumbled on a few lines, that got me thinking. The line that struck me was: "her wounds came from the same source as her power". This got me to thinking, of course, it is us, who else. It has always been us- us who love a lot or who think a lot or who talk a lot or feel a lot. It is a woman, who is capable of this. It is a woman gets shot down ten times and she gets back up 11 times.

This got me to look around, look around and realize all along I have been surrounded by some phenomenal women, who have been through hell and still laugh the loudest laughter, women who have been through worst of hardships and they carry those scars wrapped in a smile. I have seen women who have fallen and made mistakes and I have seen them stand back up, look life in the eye and say -"I'll make up for it, but I won't let it ruin me, not today!". 

This is a note to you. 

This is a note to you, who thinks a lot, and then some more, who can manage to raise a chaos out of a perfect situation. This is a note to you, who can manage to walk tall in the chaos, who has the strength to make it right. This is a note to the fierce, bold and beautiful you, who fights like fire, and loves like fire.

This is a note to you, who is a daughter and a son, a fighter and a provider. This is a note to you who gives a lot and asks for so little, who looses small matches, curses herself and gets back up every time because she is made to win at life. A note to you, who wears an armor and a smile.

This is a note to you, who has learned to occupy as little space in a room as possible, who carries a storm inside her and smiles the sweetest smile. This is a note to you, who has denied life's bitterness to take away her sweetness. A note to you, who is fire covered in ice. I admire your courage, your strength and your pride.

This is a note to you, who knows sky is her limit, who is talented and sharp, beautiful and gentle, and tied down by restrictions, who has the strength to break the chains and still chooses to wear them like ornaments because she knows her time will come. This is a note to you and a bow to your patience, and your strength and your wisdom.

This is a note to you, who was abused and mistreated, who laughs the craziest laughter. A note to you, who does the right thing, despite being wronged, who refuses to back down when life hits her the hardest. A note to my warrior princess.

This is a note to you, who is silly and confused and often perturbed, who looks for advice and a little bit of love, who has scars that no one sees and cries that no one hears, she owns them beautifully with a toothless smile that one should fear. This is a tribute to your bottomless, fathomless and unquestionable love.

This is a note to you, who stands tall in room full of men, they call you a wild card entry and you show them your strength. A note to you, who is the best employee, a mother and a friend.

This is a note to you, who is a true leader, who leads by example, who takes the blame and gives the credit, who stands in the way of all the bad and makes way for all the good, smiling all the way through. This is a note to your strength and the source of your power and the brilliant mother you are to your daughter.

This is a note to you, who loves beyond doubt, and hates beyond reason, who loves in the world that betrays. A note to you, who can walk the storm with her hair let loose, who refuses to let the life get the best of her. I am proud of the woman you have become. This is a celebration of your scars, your strength, and your love. And, finally this is a tribute to you who raised her. A note to you, who is a warrior, who is a true fighter, who simplifies, exemplifies and personifies womanhood. 

A note to you mother, I salute your sacrifices, your beauty, your strength, your mistakes, your love. 

A few words by Alison Malee:

Woman

You are not meant to be a temporary structure

You bring, you sustain, you nurture life.

You are the heart of many,

strength of lot.

You are permanent and irreplaceable landscape.

A lover, a friend, a sister, a mother,

A fighter, a scholar, a role model, a champion.

You are a victory and

a road-map of comforts

You are a home.

The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse, what words come to the mind when you first hear this word? What picture comes to mind when you first hear this word?

Well, I will share what comes to my mind. The first word that comes to my mind is light, and the picture that flashes before my eyes is of a pitch black foggy-chilly night, a violent sea with waves crashing against the rocks, and a ship stuck in the sea for months, the despair and fear of the people who have been stuck on that ship, these people might have faced many atrocities at the hand of the mighty sea, they might be dying of thirst and hunger, they see this faint light shinning through and reaching them like a guiding light. The rejoice! The peace that befalls on them! The happy tears! It is overwhelming isn't it?

Yes it is, and they keep going, looking at the light, blocking out pain, fear, cold and hunger, they keep moving towards the light.

Never until this moment I realized, how important it is to have hope. It is just a four letter word, but perhaps most powerful one of them all. Hope, everything really stems from it, the strength to fight, the will to live, the passion to improve, to keep going long after your body can work and mind can comprehend, to love beyond bounds, to fight, to live, to die in peace. This four letter word has immense strength, it can win lost battles, it brings back dead, it wins hearts, and it keeps you going long after you thought was possible. 

We all live in the hope of better future, in the hope of happier times, in the hope of being more successful, in the hope of finding the love we deserve, in the hope of making the life we deserve. Till their last breaths, people with hope put up a fight. It is a very strong emotion, perhaps the strongest one and also one of the most underrated ones. It keeps you going till your last breath, it stays with you till the end of the life.

We should keep this hope alive no matter what, because this is what keeps us alive. I understand it gets difficult to see the light on darkest of nights, but remember my friend, it is on the darkest of nights that the light shines the brightest, you just have to look out for it and once you find it, don't let it loose your sight. Trust the light and keep moving forward.

Hope is lost, the will to live is lost. Unfortunately we live in times where it has become even more important to understand the power of hope for ourselves and for others. We should always be on the lookout for the lighthouse as we walk through some of the toughest times in our lives.

Every one today could use a little hope, and everyone today could give out a little hope. So try to be someone's Lighthouse and spread out your beautiful light, who knows you might help some lost souls and give them hope to survive the storm and the crushing waves of lives.This was my attempt to be someone's lighthouse.

Sharing a few lines that I heard somewhere, which I would love to share with you.

"What draws the eye to the lighthouse,

 Oh say what could it be?

Now how could a light on the mighty rock

forgive lost souls at sea.

There are no ropes to pull them in,

no maps of where to go.

And we hear the cries from crashing waves 

under the beacon's glow.

Relentlessly, the wind blows now

the noise, as  million drums!

The angry sea will swallow scores

as the weak in faith succumb.

Through rain and hail and deathly fog

sins weather strangely mixed

A faint but "guiding light" shines through, 

if eyes are firmly fixed!"

Keep Shinning!

Cheers to your beautiful light!

Image source: google images.

A Cow, A Buffalo, A Skeleton

Hey, have you seen her, she looks so fat in that dress, doesn’t she realize that she does not have the body for that. Oh my god, she looks like an elephant, she should start working out. You can’t pull that off you don’t have the body for that. Real women have curves. Oh boy! You should have seen her, she looked like a cow/buffalo/ rhino/skeleton/fat/flat etcetera etcetera.

Rings a bell?  Remember the girl you called fat or flat or skinny or skeleton or cow or buffalo? Can you guess what the post is about? Body Shaming.

Body shaming, is a natural phenomenon that the worst of us have to go through, this is the critical test and unavoidable too, like jee, gmat, ias that you have to pass to have a good life, after all if you and your body is not approved by society, or even your friends, your family or your boyfriend/husband then what good are you (in their defense, it is your fault that you are fat/skinny/ugly)? You my dear are not beautiful, and no obviously you shouldn’t wear the dress you like because Mr. Body Shamers and Ms. Body Shamers have not approved of it, so how does it matter that you want to wear something you like, even though its your body but they make the rules here and if they have decided that they don’t like the way you look then of course you should spend your whole life trying to look like the way they seem fit because they are the best judge of your body/looks/colors and wardrobes.

Now don’t try to give me this counter point that god made you this way, so what? Is god bigger than Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers? No of course not. You must listen to what they say, because they are the most beautiful people ( and not just by looks, but inside out) to have walked this earth, they are the ones who own how you should feel, they decide when you are allowed to enjoy and be happy and not be teased and made fun of. And of course, they have every right to talk about how ugly you are, to tell you how bad you look, don’t feel bad they are doing you a favor, otherwise which beautiful person takes out time to address the flaws of ugly people like you, it is a social service that they have undertaken apart from the heavy burden (that they already carry on their perfectly proportionate and toned shoulders) of deciding the fate of every person and judging every person?

Now don’t go on saying that Joey said, “I am curvy, and I like it”, so if its good enough for Joey its good enough for you. Because, he also dated only “hot women” ( this is a term that in the language of body shamers is used for the women who are opposite of you, who are not ugly like you, they are beautiful women, you won’t get it.)

And don’t even try to say shit like “mah life, mah body, mah rulz” to me because you are ugly my friend and only pretty people have the right to use it, you use it, you become a meme, are you not made enough fun of already? You cow, you buffalo, you skeleton! When will you learn, stay in shadow, don’t you dare try to shine, and don’t even think of outsmarting Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers, you can never have their intelligence, beauty, charm and confidence.

So you have two choices, either work hard and make something of your life and create a different world for yourself where ugly people like you and me are valued and appreciated and where there is no place for what Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers think of you, or rot in the dungeons of your ugliness, self pity and insecurities because you are not welcomed in this world of beauty, of Mr. and Ms. Body Shamers for only the prettiest souls are allowed to live and thrive and only these pretty ones get to decide your fate here and they have passed their judgement and you were deemed “not pretty enough”.

See you on the other side!

The Expectation Theory

How many times have you heard or read somewhere, that it is wrong to expect anything from anyone? How many times have you consoled yourself by saying that you expected too much and that is why you are disappointed.  But is it really your fault that you expect from people? Is it wrong to believe that people are capable of love or trust or friendship? How is it your fault, that the other person didn't hold his/her end of the bargain.

In my opinion, "You shouldn't expect anything from anyone" is a concept created by those people who just need a lame excuse to extract everything out of other people around them and just walk away when it's their turn to do something. It is just another way of getting away after doing something selfish or insensitive.

But if you are a person like me, who has consoled himself/herself by saying it's your fault, you never learn that you should not expect. Stop right now, because why shouldn't you expect? There is a reason you expect, right? You are not a mad, desperate person who is just running around expecting people to cross oceans for you, you are a reasonable person and you expect because you did something for that person, you expect because that person promised you implicitly through his/her gestures and behaviors that he/she is going to be there for you and if this person was not there for you and you are blaming yourself, don't! Because it is not your fault, it never was.

But do learn one thing, learn whom to expect from, choose your people wisely. Choose who you are willing to place your trust in, choose who is worthy of your love and friendship and your efforts. You should be the one deciding to what extent you should be pushing yourselves for lovers, friends, family. Because end of the day it's you who'll be disappointed if you don't make the right choice, if you don't make a wise choice or if you decide in haste. Take all the time you need but choose wisely and if even after such careful contemplation, people do end up disappointing you which they will (because how can it be that simple) don't ever blame yourself, it was never your fault, how can it be your fault if all you ever did was to be there for people you love and expect the same from them. And let me tell you this, the conversion rate on expectations is very low i.e if you place your trust in 10 people and expect from them to show up and if you are lucky then you are going to be disappointed by only 9 of them, but once in a while one out of every ten people will reciprocate your expectations, they'll appreciate your beautiful heart and that'll make all the difference, because this bargain is more than worth it and this how amazing people like you find amazing people like me(don't deny that now). Also, learn from your mistakes, don't keep on giving third and fourth chances and if you do want to give out those chances give those to yourself by telling yourself you deserve not to be disappointed, you deserve better. Also, do you remember that bitch named Karma, well it does exist and it's pretty good at it's job so leave all the rest to it and you do your thing.

Happy Expectations!

Just one Act : that's all it takes

It takes just one act of love, of kindness, of courage, of gratitude or of acceptance. Yes just one act, and it makes all the difference.

This post comes straight from my heart, which was in utter chaos. A month full of broken promises and friendships. A month of full of difficult decisions made, a month full of turmoil and emotional roller-coaster, and a week full of second guessing all the decisions made, full of tears and a viral infection. Well, this will sound overly melodramatic, but I can't help it, I have thing for romanticizing pain as I have grown up on bollywood movies and I love Arijit Singh's songs, so bear with me.

But something happened today, which made me realize that at times, all it takes is one act. One act to save someones day, to save relationships from turning sour, to save someones life, to bring a smile to a teary faced, to bring peace to a troubled heart.

What we often fail to realize is that we are given this power, power to affect people, it depends on us how we use it. We have the ability to make someone's day just by simple act of care or love. We can make our loved ones feel that they are not alone by just taking out sometime from our lives for them.

We are bound by our calendars and our fast paced lives, but it won't hurt to stop and show your love to those who matter because after all this is what counts.

So many times I think of picking up a phone and calling some of my old friends, or my grandparents and I don't because well I get distracted by something. So many times I think of checking in on a person I think might be lonely and then I just shy away thinking it's not my place. So many times I try to reach out to someone I see is in pain but I don't because that person was not there in my time of need (petty I know, but that's me). So many times I thought of reaching out to an old friend who has become a stranger now. So many times I think of reaching out to a stranger who I see sitting lonely at her desk in office every day, and I don't neither do you probably.

But today, I realized how powerful just one act could be. So, I have decided that instead of not bothering or instead of bothering and not doing anything, I'll make a change. Let's try this, let's give love, a big bear hug, a warm smile, morning greetings of how are you to co-workers while you actually listen intently to how they are, hour long phone calls to old friends, a loud and honest laughter, open doors and even more wide open hearts. Because if not us then who else would? We are all so lonely or insecure or carry a baggage, all of us could use a good old big warm love. Sure, there are people who wronged you, sure there are people who you believe are downright evil and may be they are, but how can you decide someone else's karma? At least you can be good to the other half who you tend to ignore or forget about or take for granted, life is too short you know, and I said because us humans like other things tend to procrastinate showing love and care also, thinking we have lifetime ahead of us to show the love that we feel towards someone.

Let's start with a simple act, a simple act to show someone that they mean something to us, a simple act to show someone that they are not alone, a simple act to show that our love, that is all that makes a difference.

This post is my love to the person who said to me once - "I might not be able to give you a solution to your problems, because it's me you know I can't, but I sure can listen to you and when you cry I can cry with you" - cliched isn't it? Well hindi movies you see, but this is the moment I knew I love this person, because these things, these simple acts are all that brings people closer, because in these moments what we experience is shared pain and shared joy and love that stems from that and it is this love that binds two people together.

Happy Loving, Happy living.