This post is a result of the numerous emotions I went through in past year and the incessant efforts of my brain to understand how I went from sad to happy in a blink and finally being able to put in words some of those thoughts and emotions which I was not able to describe that well in words before.
Well here it goes, first of all when I look back now, I can say that it was not in blink of an eye that I went from sad to happy. It was a process spanning over an entire year. A process of healing, a process of self discovery and being happy with whatever good or bad I discovered about myself. It was a process of being able to genuinely love and adore myself instead of being ashamed or feeling inadequate. Because that is what is wrong with love days. Don't get me wrong, love in itself is a very beautiful feeling but the way we approach love and our outlook towards it, is what the problem is.
Love has become a way for people to validate themselves with, but what I understood is, it is not a magic potion that is supposed to make your past or your flaws or your insecurities go away or somehow make them OK. Love is not something you can use to make yourself feel beautiful or valued or less lonely. But we give ourselves this reason or at least I did that if I have a partner in my life than all other things which I feel I need to work upon are OK and do not require my attention because I got a validation or some sort of acceptance and that is why probably people at times feel like they are not good enough if they don't have someone in their lives because of this general idea that we have built around love.
We view love and romantic relationships as a form of escape route or as I say buffer to give ourselves a reason not to work on the things which we know deep down will give us the happiness or a illusion that we build around ourselves to keep us from facing the reality or as something with which we can keep our mind occupied so that we don't have to face the real issues in life, hence we are never at peace in our relationships and tend to attract chaos. Because what we feel is what we give out to the world and what we give out is reflected back.
It's time we start approaching love in a correct way and not in the way that we have been taught by all the romantic movies/novels/stories/songs. It's unnecessarily romanticized, it's over hyped, it's not real and it's unhealthy. Love is not a co-dependent relationship, love is, two independent individuals who are capable of co-existing.
Please understand, and I can not stress this enough that, if you want to be happy whether in relationship or not, you'll absolutely have to learn to be able to love yourself and appreciate yourself with all your heart and not just superficially, but actually mean it. And it's tough to come face to face to your true self because there are a lot of things that you don't want to see or acknowledge but you don't have a choice because sooner or later you'll have to go on this journey of self discovery and though tough in beginning, it tends to become easier and more peaceful after sometime and it's beautiful. I am sorry, I can not tell you what the end result is or how it looks like because I am still not there yet, but till now all I can say is I am a happier person and more importantly closer to my true self than I ever was.
“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are, The second greatest is being happy with what you find.” ― Auliq Ice
Bon Voyage!
